


Star(Dust.)

by chiamiko



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Angst, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma, im sorry dont expect too much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:14:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29393211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiamiko/pseuds/chiamiko
Summary: TW FOR CHILD ABUSEshe didn't feel like any star would grant her wish anytime soon.but it did.
Relationships: Hakurei Reimu/Kirisame Marisa
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if my english isn't perfect , im still learning!

she was Marisa Kirisame.  
she wasnt exactly one to love life , can someone blame her though?

"STOP! PLEASE!"  
she was running out of breath already. she hated this.

she hated that it was practically a routine.  
but it's not like she can do anything about it , you know? and she didn't want to hate her father either, she knew (believed) that he was just blinded by a magic spell she had read about.

night after night, she feels her whole body aches.  
her father wasn't the same after her mom died.  
can someone blame him though? (they can.)  
after an evil youkai attacked their home , both Marisa and him couldn't take their eyes out of that scene. it was like torture. seing her being torn apart like she was a bug.

maybe he was possesed, and thought the little blonde girl was that evil youkai. (he didnt.)

she cried silently in the ground , she didnt want to admit it but she was...afraid of..him. she reallly was  
the man started shouting at her. she didnt really hear what he was saying  
its not like could either , she was way too bruised to make a move or even react.

but she seemed forced to when she saw that once lovely father grab the axe they used to cut wood and walking towards her.

"What..are you ...doing..?" she could barely get out her words as she did her best efforts to stand up.

"It's your fault." he said with a deafening tone

"H..huh?."

"It should've been you."

it hurt to stand up. so. so much. she didn't even feel her legs.

"W..w..wait..!"

"STOP! PLEASE! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"  
she was heavily panting . she sure looked miserable right now. maybe.. just maybe she did want to d-

"I bet she didn't want to either..huh?."

he started chasing her. its familiar. but she needs to move faster than the other times.

she ran through the forest hoping that she will lose him. she felt as she was in a bad scary movie. 

she tripped.

ah. its the end.  
was it worth it.?  
i didn't want to die so soon. (did i?)  
its her final moments yet she feels an unbearable fear.  
she closes her eyes.


	2. ..

she is forced to open her eyes when she feels like she is falling

-"H..huh?"  
was she..dead? she didn'y really expect death to feel like this at all  
but well , its not like she's complaining about it.

she realized she wasn't dead when she fell from mid air onto the ground.

-"N..ngh.."

' I..didn't die? this must be a bad joke right?  
im tired. Im not needed. not even by my family. Im bruised.  
I look disgusting.  
I hate myself.  
Why isn't this over already.  
I deserv-'

she couldn't end her thoughts when she fainted. 

\-------------------------------------

when she woke up she felt a little lightheaded but at least her body didn't hurt as much.  
when she opened her eyes she couldn't help but scream when she saw a girl staring directly at her.

-"AHH! W-WHAT?!" - she flinched back

the little girl could only look at her with a curious yet worried look  
-"..Are you okay?"

-"G-get away! i'll kill you!"

-"..." the girl gave her..a sad smile. Was it compassion? empathy?

Marisa wanted to cry.  
she did her best to held her tears.

-"Is it okay if i touch you?"

Marisa nodded.  
the girl got close slowly , being as gentle as posible .... and hugged her , Marisa didn't react.

-"Are you okay?"

-".."

-"What's your name? im Reimu. Hakurei Reimu."

-"Marisa."

Reimu pulled away from the hug.

"Do you have anywhere to go?"

at this question Marisa looked down onto the ground. she couldn't help but let a tear escape her eye this time.

Reimu didn't insist.

"Hey..you look really bad Marisa.  
And you were just sleeping on the ground... its really cold out here y'know? you'll get sick."

Marisa didn't reply.  
'Why doesn't this girl just leave? why is she so kind? i don't need your compassion. i don't need your compassion. i don't need..'

-"I don't need your compassion."

-"I know , but i have the urge to help you. Is that selfish?."

-"I don't like you."

-"I do! even if you despise me..i'll help you! it's my duty as a miko."

'Ah..the hakurei shrine.' Marisa thought.  
'ive heard so much about it , but we lived kinda (really) isolated from the human village so i never saw it. Aparently the hakurei family is really powerful and kind.  
i never thought i would meet one.

and dislike it.'

-"Hey heyy!"

Marisa looked at her.

-"I'll let you go after this..alright?"  
she extended her hand at her and smiled awfully brightly.

'Great. now im being dragged by this idiotic girl. what is even happening? i can't tell anymore.' the blonde thought , annoyed.

\----------------------------------------

After a little they arrived at the hakurei shrine, home of this aparently small miko.

-"You must be cold right? how about we take a bath?"

-"Huh? you're weird."

-"Im just trying to be kind you know..."

-"Whatever."

-"Then i'll get things ready!"  
Reimu ran excited towards the bathroom.  
Marisa took a minute to sit and realized that this place is a mess , and plus , it looks like no one else lives here? how can that stupid girl even take care of a shrine on her own?  
It leaves more questions than answers really. But that isn't her main concern. Theres more important things she doesn't know about , wasn't she about to die yesterday? did she teleport? maybe she did a teleporting spell..no.. that's probably not it , she's a human after all.  
and now..this girl is acting like they're friends.. i just don't buy it.

her thoughts are interrupted when reimu grabs her hand to which she flinches (she hates that she does.)

-"Oh..sorry.. i didn't ask if you wanted to be touched."

-"I don't care! idiot!" she turned defensive really fast.

-"..Sorry... i just wanted to tell you the bath is ready."

'Ah..what will she think when she sees my body? will she laugh when she sees its all bruised and weak? will she take advantage and kill me? she probably will. God am i an idiot? of course she will. Did i want a friend so bad? how did i let myself into this situation?.. im stupid.stupid.stupid.stupid. '

'Maybe she should just kill me.'

Reimu noticed marisa was trembling.

-"Hey..whatever happened to you.. i won't do it alright? so.. don't be afraid of me.. please, because ..sincerely i .. want to get to know you."

The trembling girl could only nod . Were this empty words? they sounded like they came from the sincerest part of her heart.  
If only she knew.

They walked to the bathroom and Marisa looked surprised.  
Reimu looked proud yet happy that she liked it  
it was warm and comfy , something that the girl hadn't felt in a while.  
the baths she took in her home where cold , and really , really short, yet she always made her best efforts to smell nice , truly deserving of an award.

the little miko got undressed and ran to the warm

-"Haha! its really nice! come look Marisa!"

-"..."

-"It's alright , i mean it."

when she undressed .. Reimu couldn't help but feel bad for her. She wasn't really smart , but she wasn't an idiot either. she already supposed a human did that to her but.. that much? that's just..cruel.  
she was really skinny too , so much her ribs were visible.  
Marisa looked tense , even more pale than she was before  
she took fast steps towards the bath.  
when the girl got in they stayed quiet.  
it was an incredibly uncomfortable silence.

Reimu took the first step.

-"I'll wash your hair."

\--"Hmh."

Reimu got close and started washing her.

-"Wow your hair is really soft! you're like a princess!." she smiled

-"W-W-What?" Marisa was taken by suprise as she found herself blushing at the compliment.

-"Huh? did i say something wrong?" Asked the miko worried

-"Ah..no it's just um.......thank you."


	3. thanks.

Once they finished bathing , Marisa felt really fresh.

they sat in reimu's kotatsu.  
Reimu seemed hesitant to talk but in the end she asked Marisa a question.

-"Um..i know this might be really uncomfortable to you.. and you don't have to answer if you don't want to." She paused a little

"Who did this to you?"

Marisa's eyes widened.  
Deep down she knew that this question would come eventually , but she's still terrified to tell her.  
what would she say?  
would she laugh?

'she won't judge. (she will.)'  
'she won't. (she'll beat you up.)'  
'get out of my head. (you'll be alone.)'  
'get out. of my head. (you did this to yourself!)  
'stop. (then stop me.)'  
'YOU'RE JUST AN ANNOYING VOICE! .GO AWAY!'  
(im you! don't play dumb.. this is what you really think! isn't it beautiful?!.)

'JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!'

-"AAAAAGH!." a scream of frustation came from the little girl.

-"Marisa? im..im sorry! i won't a-ask again!."

-"NO!"

Reimu just looked in fear.

-"I.i..it.. wasn't cause of you..im sorry."

-"Oh."  
-"Either way , im sorry. That wasn't the best way to aproach it."

-"It's fine , really."

'everything's just fine right? i just need to tell her the truth.'

-"I um...eh.." She realized it wasnt completly fine.  
-"My..fam-... father....he..he.."  
'Oh.' Reimu thought  
-"Im..sca..red.." genuine fear invaded her.

She found herself choking her words out and sobbing , her heart beating incredibly fast. Was she dying?

the miko noticed what was going on.

-"Marisa! look at me."

she did her best efforts to look at reimu , breathing heavily.

"You're not dying , dont be afraid.."

Marisa kept sobbing.

"...Do you want me to hold your hand?"

she nodded.

She softly grabbed Marisa's hand and looked at her.

"Hey , it's gonna be okay, alright? it might take a while , but you'll feel fine. You've had it rough already."

"I-i.."  
Marisa couldn't repress her emotions anymore.  
She started crying , this time loudly.  
No words where exchanged , but that's alright.

A while passed and Marisa calmed down a little , her breath becoming more relaxed.

-"Reimu.."

-"Hmm?"

-"Why are you helping me?"

-"Well...i don't really know... you're like a star that isn't shining..a really pretty star that hasn't been taken care of. But i believe that if it shines again ,it'll be brighter than any other star out there."

Reimu smiled , ever so slightly.

-"....Idiot."  
Marisa smiled , for the first time in what seemed like years  
Reimu noticed this and took it as a reward. It's really only everything she wanted to see.

"You're really pretty when you smile."

-"H-H-HUH?!"

'Oh..i said it out loud.'

"He...heheh.."Reimu awkwardly rubbed the back of her head.

Marisa was as red as one can get.

-"...Thank you..reimu.".

-"No biggie!"

They stayed silent for a second and..

*Growll...*

".."  
".."

-"Are you hungry?" Reimu chuckled 

-"...Yeah...he..hehe.."

Reimu did her best to cook curry for Marisa (it was..kinda the only plate she perfectly knew how to cook).

after a couple minutes..

-"You know..you really don't have to put this much effort."  
-"You look hungry.. so.."

Marisa tried the curry.  
she had no words.

\----------------------------------------------  
-"Hey..im..hungry."

-"Goddamn Marisa just shut the fuck up already."

-"..."

-"If you're so hungry why don't you get your ass out of here and search for food?!"

-"It's cold."

-"You're a fucking dissapointment. Can't even do anything by yourself. Useless child."

-"Sorry."

-"Stop apologizing you dumb bitch."

-"Please...don't.."  
\----------------------------------------------  
-"Marisa?!"  
-"H..huh?"

she didn't realize she was crying.  
-"Is the curry that bad?.."  
Marisa looked at her with a sad smile.  
-"No..it's delicious. Thanks."

After a little Reimu understood , but she just stayed quiet thinking that it's the best for Marisa.

They ate the rest of the curry in silence , but this time it wasn't an uncomfortable silence.

\--------  
Before the miko noticed noticed it , she sun was hiding.

'It's getting dark..i'll just convice her to spend the night here , or maybe even more than a night? i..don't want to send her to her home... not when she told me that.'

Reimu looked at Marisa  
she was silently reading a book that the miko lend her , she seemed really interested in whatever it was about.

-"Marisa.."

-"Huh?"

-"It's getting late already , so stay here for tonight."

Marisa felt horrible.  
'I'm just taking up space. I knew staying here was selfish but i did anyways. Maybe.. that stupid thought was right after all.

i dont want kindness, and i don't deserve it either.'  


-"Don't worry."

-"Eh?.."

-"My family is waiting for me."  
She looked tired.

-"Marisa? Didn't you say.."

-"No , i was lying. Bye , Reimu."  
She began walking away , not wanting to face her. 

The hakurei didn't hesitate to grab her hand.

-"Marisa! what's with you? i know you weren't lying , i won't let you get hurt like this again."

Marisa turned to reimu unexpectedly.

-"Stop..STOP HELPING ME! IM NOT WORTH IT! JUST LEAVE! LEAVE ME TO ROT ALREADY YOU STUPID MIKO!"

".."  
*SLAP*

Marisa's eyes widened when she felt her cheek burn.

-"WHY CAN'T YOU BE KIND TO YOURSELF?!"

-"Hu..huh?

-"WHY CAN'T YOU SEE YOURSELF THE WAY I SEE YOU?! NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT MARISA.. WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?! STOP BEING SO MEAN TO YOURSELF!"

-"I..."

Reimu realized she was screaming at her.

-"I.. didn't mean to scream at you."

Marisa was still surprised.  
-"Maybe i needed it."

-"What i mean is.. you .. don't have to do this alone..you always try to do things by yourself without asking for help but it doesn't have to be like that anymore."

-"..."

Reimu couldn't react when she felt marisa hugging her really hard.

-"Reimu..thanks.. i'll...i'll be good i promise.."

-"You're good as you are..dummy."

They stayed hugged for a strangely long time

-"Marisa..?"

"...She fell asleep."


	4. ?

-"Marisa...let's go to sleep already."  
she shook Marisa gently.  
-"Huh..? what happened..?"

-"You fell asleep."

-"Ooh."

-"I have a spare pijamas , you can use it..but we'll have to sleep in the same bed , is that uncomfortable to you?"

-"No , not really."

-"Then let's go!" she excitedly grabbed her hand and ran towards her room.

-"Wuahh! slow dooown!"

Reimu's room was pretty desorganized , but she didn't really mind , because the bed looked really comfy. She hasn't felt this warm and fluffy since..who knows? she feels wanted ; and for now that is the only thing that she wants to live through this unfair life. 

Both Marisa and reimu got changed and laid on the bed ,  
and reimu turned to the blonde.

-"Hey."

-"Hmm?.."

-"Do you still dislike me?"

'She's still..thinking about that? it seems like i need to pick my words better from now on..'

-"Of course i don't.. i just.. said that because i was terrified at the moment."

-"..Are you afraid of me?"

-"Not really.. you look like you can't kill a fly , even if you wanted to."

-"..People fear what is unkown to them." 

'She looks really melancholic ... i don't have a clue about what she's talking about.'

-"Im not sure.. i.. understand Reimu.'

-"It's okay , goodnight."

'That..was weird. But i won't look into it too ...much..im really... slee...py..'  
\-----------------------------------------------

Morning came by , and reimu woke up .

-"Mm...nn...good morning Marisa..."  
She opened her eyes , expecting to see Marisa , but.. she wasn't there.

"....Marisa...? ..huh?"

Her eyes widened in shock.

"WAIT..MARISA?!"

'SHIT! I KNEW SHE WAS AFRAID OF ME, EVERYONE IS! HOW WAS I SO STUPID?!'

She got dressed and ran as fast as she could to the shrine's front door , she wanted to search for her altough she didn't even know where she lived.

But that wasn't necessary.

-"Hey Reimu! hahah."

-"..What?"

Standing in the garden of the shrine was Marisa who looked a little bruised (new ones.) and had a broom inbetween her legs. She looked like a dumb witch , but for some reason she looked so happy , smiling brightly and laughing at nothing. This scene only confused the miko more.

-"You look freaked out and your bow is backwards . are you alright Reimu?"

-"I..thought you ran away.."

-"Huh? why would i do that?"

-"I guess i was just paranoid.. but anyways , what are you doing? you look like you're really enjoying it too."

Reimu sat down , and Marisa followed her.

-"This is just my morning routine!"

"You know..i have a dream."

She looked at Reimu , with stars in her eyes.

"I'll be a magician! i'll really really be one! no matter what it takes! no matter if im just an ordinary human! i swear on my pride as Marisa Kirisame!"

'So that's her surname. Cute.'

-"Looks like you're being serious about it."

-"Of course i am!"

-" So what magic do you plan on using?"

-"Hmm.. i don't really know that yet , everything i want to do for now is fly!"

-"..Fly?"

-"Yeah! don't look so uncertain.. we humans can't fly but i will!"

-"I can fly y'know?"

-"Huh? you can?! you're just a miko!"

-"Of course i can!" she frowned.

-"..Really? you aren't lying right now?"

-"Why would i be lying?" 

She proceeded to get up , stand on the ground and fly.  
Marisa was absolutely amazed.

-"W-WHAT?! HOW DID YOU DO THAT?! YOU'RE A HUMAN RIGHT?!"

-"Well..i don't really know , one day i wanted to fly and i just.. did."

-"That's..what?"

-"The Hakurei bloodline has powers that even us don't understand yet, so..i guess i just did that.."

-"Huh..? but i've read about magic for years and i still can't fly."

-"That's just fine! it's not like you have to be like me or anything."

-".." She was just impressed.

-"You'll be a great magician Marisa! .. i.. i swear on my pride as Reimu Hakurei!"

...

They both exploded in laughter.

-"THAT'S HOW I SOUND?! HAHAHAH WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SOONER!YOU DAMN MIKO! HAHA"

-"I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE INSPIRING!!"

-"MY STOMACH HURTS AHAHA"

Their uncontrollable laughter was interrumpted by a strange sound..and a strage vision.

-"REIMU?! WHAT..WHAT IS THAT?" Marisa looked terrified , almost like how she looked when Reimu first met her.

In the garden there was a strange gap full of kinda (really) creepy eyes.

'It's..him...'  
'He came to take me back. Of course he did. Who else would have such terryfing eyes?'

-"Rei..mu.."

-"Huh? Marisa? What's wrong?"

She didn't look fazed at all , but she worried once she saw Marisa.

-"It's him.. he.. he's here.. Reimu..."

'Oh.'  
-"Marisa! It's not him! it's just a friend i promise ..she won't hurt you!"

-"Eh?" a new voice interrumpted

-"Aa..ah.." Marisa couldn't get words out.

Standing before the girls was the annoying , but well known in the shrine Yukari.

-"Hey reimu , i came for some food. But before that.. is that kid alright?"

-"Yeah she just .. felt bad for a little."

When Marisa stepped away from Reimu's back , Yukari smiled.

-"Hey! if it's not you! i wouldn't have thought that Reimu would find you! I guess it's pure luck that you landed near the shrine."

-"W-What?" The little girl was not believing this.

-"Oh , my bad! seems like i've forgotten to introduce myself.."

"Im Yukari Yakumo , im well known here in Gensokyo for being the gap youkai that sealed the barrier within the outside world and us. No need to thank me , im just passing by.. maybe i'll bring my Shikigamis so you'll get to know them! And you must be..Marisa! i know because..you know , i saved you." Yukari had a smug smile.

-"No..way.. you're the one who..did that?"

-"Yeah , i felt kinda bad for you! being chased and all.."

Marisa really admired Yukari in that moment . She helped a stranger , just because she felt bad.. maybe she didn't care about what happened to her right now , but she'll find a meaning to her life since there are people who want her , people who found her , and saved her.

So Marisa got down on her knees and started shouting at the top of her lungs.

-"MISS YAKUMO! IM SO GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE WITHOUT ME EVEN KNOWING! I PROMISE I'LL BE GOOD! PLEASE BE COMFORTABLE TO ASK ME FOR A FAVOR ANYDAY!"

-"Wow! i see you're motivated , but it's not like you have to scream you know.."

-"I am so very sorry!"

-"And you don't have to be so formal either , just call me Yukari.."

-"Understood!"

-"Well well , its like i have yet another Shikigami.. but whatever. If you want to return the favor , listen very closely..."

-"Im listening!"

-"Bring me a good tea! and also some aperitives.. you know , every youkai says that this dumb miko's tea is fine china... and i wouldn't know unless i taste a good amount of it!"

-"I can still hear you you know?! and don't act like it's the first time you come here to steal my tea leaves!"

-"Don't listen to her , she's just jelaous."

-"I'll..take it into consideration! and also , ill be back in a bit with the tea."

With this , Reimu and Yukari were left alone.

-"Haaah , you haven't invited me in a while you knoow?"

-"Well , that's because each time you guys throw a party at my shrine i have to clean everything up!"

-"Oh you're so grumpy.. you have fun too!"

-"It's just.."

"It's kinda funny how im friends with all these youkai but not a single human comes to my shrine.." Reimu sighed loudly

-"Well , now you have a human!"

-"Oh.. that's.."

-"So what about we.. THROW A MASIVE WELCOME PARTY!"

-"YOU'RE CLEARLY JUST USING THAT AS AN EXCUSE! YUKARIII!"

-"Im not! clearly , Marisa needs to know new people, and im in for that! underground , youkai mountain , misty lake , bamboo forest , ....heaven.."

Yukari looked as she was repudiated by the word heaven.

-"But she's just come here! we don't know if she would like to meet all theese dum dum youkai.."

-"Oh reimu! you sound like an old woman.. you're just 12! why don't you enjoy this?"

-"It's just..im worried for her , she's kinda afraid and sad and.. i just.. don't want her to suffer anymore."

-"Well someone's in love!"

-"I-i..that's..n-not.." Reimu slighly blushed.

"It's confusing.. it's.. the first human i've been friends with.."

-"It was a joke , Reimu you want to protect her and that's all that matters for now. Feelings are confusing and you shouldn't rush yourself to label it."

-"Who would've guessed that you can say smart things once in a while.."

-"You're so pretentious! im really old you know? of course im smart and cool."

-"But maybe you're right ,being with her is enough for now.. and as long as she's happy i don't care what she thinks about me . Of course.. i wouldn't want to be enemies or something."

-"E-eh..e.." A voice interrumpted both girls..

Standing in the door was Marisa , holding a tray with cookies and tea and a blushed face.

Reimu panicked at this sight , while yukari was only smiling at the situation.

-"Well well well! if it is-"

-"M-M-MARISA! DID YOU H-HEAR.."

-"I..i.."


End file.
